Romance Is…
When I think about romance. I think about the journey. I think of the time and effort two individuals put in to not only chill out together but also grow up and grow old together.
Ivan and Fany had been together for more than seven years prior to tying the knot. They met when they were in middle school, started dating when Ivan was in college in Singapore and Fany in high school in Jakarta. The two years difference between them forced them to spend three years apart from each other. Though it was challenging but their peculiar common interests in vintage things, music from yesteryears and exotic cars glue them tightly to each other.
Not only those seven years taught then to not only talk about the similarities, but also the differences. They allowed tough, uncomfortable topics to be discussed in order to move forward and better each other. As Fanny would describe it, “from butterfly garden to Sahara desert,” through thick and thin. They want them all. They wanna grow old and grow up together.
However even when they were in a desert like situation, they managed to build their own oasis where the most exotic plants and trees grow lusciously. How? They would take a step back, see the bigger picture and try to focus on each other’s positive traits. When hardship comes, Fany would hold dear to the times when Ivan has shown his patience in explaining certain topics to her. Or when Ivan would shock Fany because he remembers the smallest details that she once mentioned. Or when Ivan has always been a solid rock Fany can lean on because of his calmness and stability. And those are “romantic to me,” Fany said.
What a profound and mature point of view. We often think that being romantic equals a bouquet flowers accompanied with a box of chocolates. Or pages and pages of hand written love notes describing how a man loves a woman or vice versa. Ivan and Fanny’s love story taught me that being romantic comes in different shapes and form. We, the lovers, get to decide our own kind of “romantic”. It could be in the way he always carries our heavy belongings, or in the way she believes in a man when no one else does, or simply in the way he gives you the last piece of irresistible crispy chicken skin. Romance is in the resilience through trials, romance is the two of us.
