This is a housewife's heart-to-heart. This was composed without any intention of scaring you or giving you doubts if you're planning to be a housewife, or starting a new family. How you live your life is your own personal choice. Happiness is a choice.
Accomplishment satisfies me. I feel that it keeps me sane. I used to plan and schedule my hours, days, and months. I like that predictability and sense of accomplishment when I get things done and it goes as planned. Even my college roommates used to call me Ms. Overachiever. Not that I do not have any lazy days, I do. But when I accomplish things, I feel productive.
When we were pregnant, my husband and I decided that I will stay at home and take care of our child. Yes! It is the life we chose. Never did I think I would miss my “productive” working days.
Being a first-time mom is quiet a journey. The early days, even until today, were filled with how’s and why’s. Of course we are trying to do our very best in parenting. Guess what? It is not easy. I feel like there are not enough articles or research to make parenting easy. Being a stay at home mom and attending my son for 24 hours a day give me that unproductive feeling. I feel like I can never, yes never, get things done. There is always one thing after another that I need to do for or to him. And what makes it worse is that at the end of the day, I feel so tired yet I feel like I've accomplished nothing. Frustrating? Yes, at least for me. As I have said before, being productive is a way of keeping me sane. Never before did I have a human being whose life is so dependent on me. What an overwhelming fact?! I feel my life revolves around my son whose needs are above my own. Especially in his early life. Oh how life has drastically changed once you become a parent!
Now, if you ask me, are you unhappy being a stay-at-home mom? Quite on the contrary, being a stay-at-home mom has thought me a lot about myself. I found the strength I didn’t know I had before. I've learned to be flexible. It is okay if my day does not go as planned, or even, when I don’t plan my days at all. I learn to be more forgiving to myself. There is no such thing as a perfect mom or family. But to all mothers out there, I believe that you are doing your very best! And guess what? You are the perfect mother for your child. Now, watching my son growing each day and helping him achieve milestones in his life keep me sane. Being a stay-at-home mom is a choice and a privilege. Would I trade it? Well, the ambition is still there, but currently I am cherishing this very moment. With its ups and downs, I choose to be grateful and happy.
